The One To Help Her Heal
by Jules003
Summary: Based loosely on the timeline of PLL. Aria has had something horrible happen to her but has shut everyone in her life out. Will anyone be able to help her through this time? Will Ezria overcome yet another obstacle in their way? My first time writing anything, ever. Sorry if it sucks. Rated M for severe content in the first chapter. Please review so I know if I should continue.
1. Chapter 1

_I just can't do this anymore. I know what I want and that it is something that I can never achieve. My life has been good up until now, but it's all down hill from here._

Aria taped her pen against the side of her notebook. She couldn't stop thinking about Ezra. He had been home from the hospital for 2 months and since their slip, okay slips, she had tried her best to maintain her distance. Her heart could not handle another devastating break; one more and she knew that it could never be repaired. She reached beside her to pick up her phone as it rang her favourite ringtone. A quiet groan uncontrollably escaped from her lips as she saw his name on her screen again. She wanted so desperately to answer and be able to hear his voice, but it would be wrong to lead him on. Aria knew that she needed to keep her distance until she could determine exactly what she wanted.

Aria silenced her phone and threw it down onto her bed as she made her way to her attached bathroom. She looked into the mirror, shaking her head at herself. She couldn't make a decision like this, she wasn't sure she would ever be able to decide what she wanted. Her friends, even though they loved her, had made their feelings very clear about how they felt about she and Ezra re-kindling their relationship. Though they appreciated what he had done for them on the rooftop in New York they did not trust him and they did not trust him to be with Aria. Aria was the one who they were all worried about, she had been through horrific heartbreak and Ezra was unwilling to give her the space she so severely needed. Turning off the lights in her room Aria grabbed her phone and threw it into her purse before making her way from her house.

Aria had always been a good girl. Not necessarily the girl next door, preppy poster child that could commonly be found in a small town like Rosewood, Pennsylvania, but none the less a good girl. She got good grades, was kind, didn't get into trouble and respected the freedom that her parents had always allowed her and her brother. When Ezra came into the picture, her parents had relinquished much of that freedom, but still they did not worry too much about their daughter. Unfortunately, as of late, their trust had been utterly misplaced. Aria headed towards the college bar, the only one in town that she knew would serve her what she wanted without question. She has tried to find somewhere that she could safely stay hidden from Ezra while also away from anyone else who would want to talk to her. The bar had become her escape. And sadly the amount of alcohol she was now able to drink in a single sitting had increased as well.

Aria was one her third vodka cranberry when she got a text from her Mom asking her to come home. She groaned as she chugged what was remaining in her glass and stood up making her way from the back booth at the bar. She stumbled slightly, but she had walked to the bar and knew that she'd sober up enough by the time she walked home that her parents would not notice anything. Had Aria been a little more alert she may have heard the footsteps of someone behind her or noticed that it had been much darker than she thought. But alas Aria was simply working at keeping her mind empty as she had gotten very good at.

As Aria was rounding the corner a hand reached from behind her and covered her mouth. She was pulled back into the alley behind the Apple Rose Grill. She tried to scream but the leather gloved hand was pulled so tight around her mouth that she could barely breathe, let alone scream. She knew what was happening, but was hoping that she was wrong. The guy behind her was breathing heavily, grunting and grinding as he pushed her up against the brick wall. Aria finally got to see who it was, and it horrified her. The guy had her pushed against the wall so hard that she felt like her skull was going to crack. Her heart was racing, her breathing quick, her eyes filling with tears and all she could think was 'please god, don't let this happen to me'. The guy had on all black, he had horrific breath that she could smell as he licked her neck. She shuddered each time his lips met her skin.

With one hand still covering her mouth, and his body pushing her into the wall her ripped at her shirt until all the buttons had broken open. He pulled her bra down and began squeezing her breasts. Aria struggled, trying as hard as she could to move herself away from him, but he was too strong for her. She was trying to stay strong, but she couldn't keep the tears from her eyes. She was thinking about Ezra, wishing he was there to protect her, as the guy used one hand to put his hand in her pants and start to rub against her panties. Aria was pushed down onto the ground, her head hitting the ground so hard that she knew it had split open. She could feel the warm blood pooling under her head as the man pulled her jeans down and ripped her panties off. She twisted and turned trying with all her might to get away, but he had he pinned so tight that she doubted that she had moved even an inch. She could feel bruises already forming on her stomach, breasts and thighs from his force. When she felt him ram inside of her she gave up the fight. The pain she felt radiating through her body each time he forced himself into her harder and harder until it was almost unbearable. She had clawed at his face, kicked everything that she could reach but nothing had worked. She lay there, bleeding and in pain while he forced himself inside her over and over. She just wanted it to end, she wanted to curl up and just stop being anything for a while. Eventually he pulled out of her, got up and zipped, and he left Aria laying there barely clothed and bleeding.

She lay there for a while, not knowing what to do. After a while, she realized that she was cold and shaking, she tried to sit up but screamed in pain when she tried to move. She felt like her insides had been beaten to a pulp. Nearby she heard footsteps and was terrified that the guy was coming back for seconds. She rolled over and attempted to get up so she could run, but the pain was too much. She left her body collapse back onto the cold, hard, damp ground and cried. "Aria?!" she heard a vaguely familiar voice cry out and then another shout "Oh my god! Han quick call 911" as she heard the footsteps pick up speed and get closer to her. Emily gently grabbed her should and rolled her onto her back. "Aria what happened? Are you okay?" Emily shouted frantically. Aria was incapable of answering or speaking at all. She let Emily lift her head into her lap and stroke her bloodied hair. "It's okay, we're getting help" she said quietly. Aria was semi-aware that Hannah was on the phone talking about her, but she couldn't concentrate long enough to be able to comprehend. The last thing Aria was aware of was hearing sirens in the distance and then everything around her went dark.

When Aria awoke later she groggy and her eyes opened very slowly. As she took in her surroundings she became aware that she had been changed into a hospital gown and that other people were holding both of her hands. She lifted her head slightly and saw the tear stained faces of Emily and Hannah meekly smiling back at her. "Thank god you're awake" Emily cried as she got up from her chair and leaned across the bed, hugging Aria gently. "Christ Aria you scared us" Hannah said griping her hand tightly. Aria knew this was Hannah's way of telling her that she had seriously scared her friends. "I love you guys" Aria choked out.

Unbeknownst to anyone those were the last words that they would hear from Aria. Everything happened in a blur after that moment. Once the doctors were told that she had woken up, she was examined, police were contacted and they wrote up a report even though Aria did not disclose anything to them. Her friends and parents had all tried to no avail to get her to provide the police with a statement but Aria had closed herself off. The doctors told her parents that this wasn't something to worry about yet and that everyone dealt with trauma in a different way. Nonetheless her parents were worried about her. She remained in the hospital for 4 days after the attack as she had to have internal stitches from the damage that had been caused and the doctors wanted to monitor her mental health.

"Byron what are we going to do?" Ella asked nervously. They tried to keep from overwhelming Aria but were watching through the window in her doorway as she stared off into space, laying in her bed looking lifeless and miserable. "We are taking our baby home, she's never liked being in the hospital, and once she's out of here she'll come around. You'll see" Byron told her, not sounding too sure of himself. Ella inhaled a deep breath and leaned into her ex-husbands open arms before looking in on her daughter. Byron rubbed Ella's back, doing the only thing he could think of to comfort her, this whole situation was horrific for the entire family, no one more so than Aria but everyone was struggling to coming to terms with what was happening. Ella had to help calm Byron down when Emily had first called the house and told the family what was happening. He was ready to run out and kill the son of a bitch who had hurt his daughter. She had helped him to be reasonable and told him he needed to be there for Aria. Except it didn't feel like there was anything that he could do for his daughter, she wouldn't speak to anyone, would only eat small amounts and only when coerced, he was terrified that she would not come back from this.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ar, please, we are desperate for you to say something" Spencer begged her tiny friend. The girls were all circled around Aria who was laying in her bed at home. The girls had taken shifts at first to come and sit with her, but she had been home for 2 weeks now and she still wasn't talking. Hannah came up with the suggestion that an ambush might be the only option that they haven't tried yet. "We know you've been through hell, or at least we assume cause you haven't said anything to us, but please let us help you. Talk to us, tell us what you need, please Aria" Emily begged her friend. But Aria barely even registered what her friends were saying, she was only vaguely aware of their presence. Since it happened, she felt a complete disconnect from her body, everything had slowed down and become muddled. She couldn't tell them what she wanted even if she knew. Aria knew only one thing; she didn't feel anything anymore.

"Ok we're taking off now, we love you" Hannah said a couple hours later as the girls were leaving. They had given up hope on Aria speaking so they put in a movie and tried to lighten the mood, hoping that they were helping her even a little. Aria stared across her room, seeing the TV, but not being able to register anything about the movie. From the corner of her eye she could see her Mom watching her from the doorway. Every time she had seen Ella since coming home from the hospital she looked at her like she was just sad and broken and Aria couldn't stand that look. She pushed her favourite green blanket off of her body and made her way to her bathroom, avoiding looking into Ella's eyes.

Aria cranked the hot water in the shower. Since that night, she had been unable to feel truly clean. She showered at least twice a day; sometimes her skin was left red, raw and nearly bleeding when she tired of scrubbing. Her sweats were kicked off and thrown into the corner of the room as she stepped into the already steaming shower. Aria stood under the stream of water for a time, as images from that night flew through her mind tears began flowing from her eyes. She could still feel his hands on her body, his mouth on her skin, him, inside of her, ripping her insides, both in reality and metaphorically. Aria picked up a washcloth, filled it with body wash and began scrubbing her skin. The smell caused her to close her eyes as a memory came flooding back to her. _'Ezra' she laughed as he wrapped his wet arms around her, his still wet hair dripping down on her as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. He leaned back, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his lips back down to meet hers. 'You smell like me' she whispered minutes later when their lips parted so the couple could catch their breath. 'My soap was all gone, I had to borrow yours' he laughed as he tightened his grip on her waist and pulled her body into his as they lips met once again. _

Aria was sobbing as the memories over took her. She had to sit down in the tub, as her legs were shaking and she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around them as she finally let some emotions out. "Ezra" she quietly sobbed, as she let the water rain down over her as she slowly worked towards getting her emotions under control. Aria had not cried, this was the first time since that night and now she was struggling to stop. Eventually her breathing was under control but the tears didn't seem to be able to stop. She reached out and finally turned the water off, giving up hope that the tears would actually end. Wrapping a large towel around herself, she stepped out of the shower and made her way back into her bedroom. Aria was relieved when she saw that her mother was no longer leaning in her doorway, watching how pitiful she had become.

-  
>Ella had heard Aria when she started crying, and although Ella had no desire to see, or hear, her daughter upset, she was glad that Aria was finally beginning to work through some of the emotions that she had to be feeling. Ella left Aria's doorway and made her way downstairs. Since Aria came home from the hospital she had unofficially moved back in the home. Both she and Byron had agreed that the more people that could be there for her the better their chances were at helping her to come through this. Although no one actually knew for sure what had happened that night the doctor's informed Byron and Ella that the likelihood that the sex that Aria had was consensual was extremely unlikely. The internal damage that had been caused would have been extremely painful to endure and the external injuries all point to signs of a highly aggressive rape. Hearing this had been one of the hardest things that Ella had ever had to swallow in terms of her daughter, but she was trying to remain strong so that she could be there when Aria was ready to talk.<p>

"Has she said anything?" Byron asked when Ella came into the kitchen and dropped into the seat next to him. Sadly and slowly she shook her head, "I don't know what to do to help her. She isn't even talking to her friends. I'm worried about what is going to happen to her if she can't come back from this". Byron leaned over and wrapped an arm around Ella's shoulders, gently pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "She's going to be okay, Aria had always taken her own time to process things. Our little girl is strong, she will make it through this". Byron wished he could believe in those things himself. Unfortunately he wasn't blind to the changes that he had seen in Aria since bringing her home. She had been losing weight, hardly eating; her eyes were vacant as though all the sparkle that had once been part of Aria was gone. She wouldn't allow anyone to hug her or hold her and could only stand and hand on her for short periods of time. This was one of the most difficult parts for Byron, he wanted to hold his little girl and help take all her pain away.

-  
>Upstairs Aria was pulling fresh clothes out of her dresser. She closed her bedroom door, taking a moment to relish in the peace of being alone. She put on some black yoga pants and a maroon coloured long sleeve shirt. She ran a brush through her hair, pulling on the tangles roughly before making her way over to her bed, shaking out her blanket and climbing back into her cocoon. Showering took a lot of energy, although it seemed that anything that Aria actually did lately took all the energy she possessed. She knew it had to be hard on her friends and family seeing her the way she was but she just did not have it within her to act any differently. She looked over at her phone as she heard the constant vibrations. Her friends, especially Emily, had been in communication with her at all times making sure she knew they were there for her. She'd heard from Ezra a couple of times but had been unable to respond. Aria has been proud of herself for maintaining her distance prior to that night, but the struggle was more challenging than ever before as she felt that Ezra might be the only one who could actually bring some comfort to her. Turning away from her phone Aria pulled the blankets up over her head and tried to block out the world.<p>

-  
>Ezra dropped his phone beside him on the couch. He was pissed that Aria had been ignoring him for weeks now. He understood that they were not in a relationship and he had severely, possibly irreparably, damaged what they had once had. But she had just cut off communication with him without warning. They had spent a couple nights together since his return from the hospital and had been talking; he believed that they were slowly progressing back to what they had once been. Then it all abruptly stopped; no more texts, snaps, e-mails or phone calls and no reasoning behind it. Ezra didn't like to admit it but he was struggling to function without her in his life. He missed her and was willing to do whatever she needed to help build up her trust in him again. Making his way into the kitchen he pulled a beer out of the fridge, threw the top into the sink and made his way back to the couch. Ezra had been drinking more lately than he ever had before, but it was the only thing to help him keep his mind off of the pain of having hurt Aria and the occasional nightmares that he'd been having about the night A shot him. He had never told Aria about the nightmares since she already felt too guilty about his being shot to begin with. Ezra downed his beer, grabbed another and settled in for a night of drowning his sorrows.<p>

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>Aria awoke, not for the first time and likely not the last time, with a scream trapped in her throat. She was covered in a layer or cold sweat and her heart was racing. This had become a nightly occurrence for her. She had not been able to sleep through the night once since it happened. If she tried to go back to sleep after one of her dreams she would always awaken with another nightmare. Most times once she woke up she was up for the rest of the night. But in reality, Aria honestly didn't mind the short sleeps. It was only a little after 4 am but she felt more alive, more like the old her during the night. When nobody else was around to watch her she was able to relax a little and try and figure out how she was going to get over all this. Aria blindly reached around on the floor, feeling for her laptop. Once her hand came into contact with the cool plastic casing she wrapped her hand around it and pulled it up into her bed.<p>

Sitting up in bed, leaning back against the wall, Aria opened her computer and turned it on for the first time in days. Immediately new e-mail notifications started blinking in the top corner of her screen. Most of which were junk but a couple from her teachers who had agreed to send her assignments for a little while so she wouldn't get too far behind. Aria had no idea what her mother had said to them but she was glad that she wasn't being pressured into returning because she knew that she was not in a place where that was a possibility for her right now. Usually she would do her assignments and get them back to her teachers pretty quickly, but she wasn't in the mood to look at history homework right now. As she clicked through her inbox there was a new one from Ezra. It was no longer the norm for couples to e-mail back and forth, but for her and Ezra it had been a beautiful way to connect. Ezra was so often poetic in his writings; she was always excited to read what new thoughts and ideas he had had. Lately any e-mails from his involved apologizing, declaring his love and even hints of his frustration at her for ignoring him.

Aria did feel guilty about hurting him but in the same breath she was enraged that he had the audacity to be angry with her. Ezra was the one who had done the betraying and although she wanted to forgive and forget it was proving to be very difficult. She saw that he was on-line, but quickly turned her messenger off, not wanting to provide him with an opportunity to talk with her. Although Aria hadn't been able to concentrate on what the girls were talking about when they were visiting with her she did remember Hanna discussing Ezra. _"We know how you felt about him and believe me I get it, remember Caleb and that whole Jenna debacle? But Aria what he did was so much more than that, he has been lying to you for years, spying on us, on you. Using you. Whatever you decide we will be behind you. Maybe not Spence, at least not right away, but we love you and we want you to be happy. If Ezra is what makes you happy and you think that he can help you with this you need to tell us and we will get him here for you. But we won't do it unless you tell us to, okay?" Hanna had laid next to Aria in bed for hours that night while Aria honestly thought about what Hanna said. Hanna kissed Aria's cheek and whispered, "Love you" when she left later that night. Aria then allowed herself to admit what she so desperately wanted and she quietly said, "I want him" to nobody. _


End file.
